An open letter to my House sisters

A few months back I started saluting the women in our House music circle. Mostly because I love and admire most all of you. Another reason was because our circle is very small, and what I see and hear going on with the females in this set is sad and childish to say the least. Ive been both a victim and promoter of some of the childishness that I've seen.

First I had to step back and really take a good look at who I was/am, what role did I take in either being a victim or promoter.  hmm., let's see, I trusted too many people, made too much of my personal feelings or business known.. didn't address rumors before they got out of hand.

Now while I will not mention any names by the end of this Blog, if ya smart- and I know you are you'll be able to figure it out.  If this Blog makes you do one of the following, pick up the phone and call ya friends, shake ya head.. or ( and here's the one that makes me laugh hardest)-dislike me even more. Then good I've done my job.

I was not put on this earth for you to like me., but you will respect me! As I do not like some of you, but I DO respect you!

I've seen women who have been in this House scene dislike other women because they are new or because they are pretty, threw a party that was better then yours, have a bangin body, slept with a DJ you use to fuck with..  ( listen, they are DJs and we have what most of them want...pussy) once done with you its on to the next. Ladies, that's just men period. But in this small circle I get it! Hell, Ive lived it!  insert ANY reason. The focus should always be on the music, but rarely is. 

 I also started the sister salute to help debunk the myth that I was a shit starter.. now Here is what I am. I live out loud, I call it like I see it- sometimes I'm wrong but most often times I do try to own up to it.  I am the worst at offering up an apology- character flaw admittedly. I'm in talks with the Lord about this. Here is What I can say about myself.. when I have had an issue with any of my House sisters I do try to address it with them 1st. ( im sure that's NOT the story being told). But by the time the story hits the airwaves I'm the one in the wrong..and to think, it all started with a bus trip and the lying ass bitch I chose to do business with. I've never fully recovered from that! ( yes, i said, "lying ass bitch")- now, she had more credibility because she had been in the game way longer than I. A brief history behind the "lying ass bitch" comment" I never EVER called the hotel and got my friends locked out of their room. I told her that I would pay her back ( which I did) she knew I had some issues and wasn't going to go. Once we got to the hotel, I was advised, by her that I had my own room ( I was going to stay in a friends room to save money) Her words, " just pay me back" ok cool. nooooooo that's NOT how the story was told..and so the story goes. Now I tried to handle this privately but, ya scandalized my name! and made it a very public and ugly mess. There are several others like the one where the 50 year old 5 year old was upset at the fact that I was sitting at a table with, "her friends"..my thought, "BITCH! when did this become the United States of YOUR childish ass" and made you queen?!?
Or the one where I shared some information that I really should NOT have shared. My question is, who hasn't done this.  Or the one ( and this hurt me the most) where one of the sisters I loved the most was going to get someone or a host of people to jump on me!? really, we DO that at this age? thankfully we've mended fences. Lastly, the one where a jealous insecure chick would do ANYTHING to piss on her tree then try to act like she was completely innocent. Mind you I also tried to address concerns with her to! Because I wanted to clear the air so to speak. However she took the cowards way out in my opinion or it simply could have been she felt like she did not owe me any convo..but her actions were sophomoric at best!

These are the things I really had to think about, where do I fit in to this and what did I do to perpetuate the situation. 

There is one person I have yet to clear the air with, but I'm working on that. I loved and still love her like a sister and miss her dearly( I have your half of the Twinkie and its yours if you want it)., and would kill someone for her! But please never underestimate me, do NOT think you can call me and cuss me out ( even though, again... I was in the wrong) and things not escalate.   I ain't no punk, nor am I an ass kisser!

Ive heard, " she don't speak when shes in the club" newsflash I can barely see in the dark. I can be looking directly at you and not be able to make out who you are!

What tickles me is, you smile in your face House sisters. then go directly back and talk shit! Please please PLEASE if you don't care for me, do NOT speak to me. Cause rest assured, if I don't like you I will NOT speak! point blank period. again,  its a character flaw, me and God are in talks about this also.  I would say, - negotiations, but God doesn't negotiate.

DJs and my House brothers, you all help in these feelings that we (some not all) House sisters have towards one another, stop playing these women against each other. Women ( ...and TRUST I had to realize this to) let's try to push past this! We are too old, too educated, too fly, and too precious to be play by some (not all) sea slug ass nigga's! I won't elaborate but damn, some of you have a good thing going on at home (possibly) and you still try to have your cake and eat it too. This is across the board, meaning some of you females as well. 

We have more days behind us, then in front of us we are middle aged and we play games instead of music.

I've been fooled and been a fool- lesson learned. It hurts to have to look in the mirror and see yourself for who you are and what you have done. 

But to my House sister's let's please try to come together in love and the spirit of unity.  Aside from the music the DJs and other men come out for a little eye candy. We have all been shit starters in one way or another. I know a few who have not.. 4 to be exact. Stop disliking a person based off what you've heard. Remember there are 3 sides to every story. Their side, your side, and what actually happened. Based on your vantage point you may see the same things completely different. Just open your mouths and talk it out.. but caution this can go way wrong as well. Trust me on this, I called myself trying to talk about something and it went way left in a foolish way that is., and I felt silly and stupid after my dinner and conversation with said House sister!

We are a small community and we are some of the baddest chicks out here. That's bad meaning "good"!

I realize this Blog may make some feel, "some kinda way"- oh well I have to deal with that. 

In the mean time., Come out have a good time, wear, rock, "werk" those outfits and shoes.. Always know you ARE baddest bitch in the room. Don't spread gossip and hate. That's not what this scene is about. Its not what the music is about!

I have some issues I have to work out, cause I am by NO means perfect. If I have something to say about my House sister, its because she has done something to ME personally. For the most part I think mostly all of you are fantastic and have something to offer this scene. and I mean that from the very bottom of my heart!

And to my ride or die, Tomika Murry.. BITCH you the SHIT! There are other sisters but that one right there, I have a history with and a very close and personal bond, imma need you all to understand this! She is my ride or die even when I'm parked!

There are times I wish I could be like you.

Diplomacy is not one of my strong suits. I come across as brash, and accusatory! That's not my intent, again..I'm taking it to the Lord ( in our next session) 

Until then understand, we are all works in progress. Let's work together to make it a better scene to dance in, laugh in, cry with etc...etc.. I don't want to look at my beautiful House sisters with that side eye, I don't want to hear my name come up in a negative way., nor do I want yours to. Do NOT come up to me expressing your distaste for another House sister. Handle that shit with her directly!

The only thing I want to do is...

Let The Music Play

~P

...from the friendship cheap seats

April 30th 2016, as I normally do I was scrolling through Facebook when I stumbled upon a few stats that made my hairs stand straight up. I  remember sitting straight up, my 1st instinct was to pick up the phone and call, but for whatever reason I stopped myself. Instead I went to the Facebook page to see, it had already begun. Since that time I'd thought long and hard if I should write about you, us, our unique kinship. I wanted to make sure I did this right. 

So before I begin, let me tell you what you meant to me. In a very short period of time you became my family, we laughed..you told me stories and great parables about life. You never sugar coated anything when it came to me. Its like I'd become this little sister that you nurtured, and groomed. 

I looked up to you, and our favorite joke was, "nigga if YOU swing, I swing! imma go low you hit high"! You taught me to be brave and sure. Strong and steadfast! Powerful yet reserved.  I loved and admired you like any little sister would her brother. Mostly you showed me through your actions and words, " never EVER concern yourself with the small stuff. lol and fuck a, "suck butt ass nigga" !

Prior to making your acquaintance I had a friend, a very good friend, since 1984. His name, John Macon. Like you John saw something in me I never saw in myself. Like you, John would always say, " I don't know rather I should laugh at you, or with you" ! - he, like you did both he, like you imparted his wisdom and humor he was indeed my BEST friend! He had the same qualities as you. He was my everything, and I was his. Like you, never more than friends and someone I could count on. The great thing about both of these men was they made everyone feel as if they were the most important friend they had. It takes a special kinda person to do that. But I, digress ( I could go on and on for days about Johnny Ed) I remember feeling lost when John left, but ( ..and I truly believe this with every fiber in my being) that John sent me you! Funny, I thought it would be Edland Turner, I was wrong it was Steve Dunbar. 

As a kid growing up during the early party years, I knew of you, I didn't know you, but I heard of you. I just thought you were a DJ, it wasn't until years later that I found out the roll you played in the party scene. ( if you want to know the story please read Todd Johnson's history retrospective on the party scene) - Plus, Todd's a much better writer and story teller than I. #shamelessplug.

A brief history from the "cheap seats"- and I may get some of it wrong, sue me!

His brother Morris was in with the popular group, Todd did the lighting thing, I think Todd has always been the one with the business acumen ( had to look the spelling up for that word) 
and then there was your best friend, with whom you share your birthday...Al Heath! Now HIM...I do remember, I thought he was the meanest guy ever to walk the face of the planet. I would never even smile at him, cause he always had that serious look on his face. But this ain't about Al. I will say Al Heath is a sweetie and funny as hell. You can never judge a book by its cover..but again, this ain't about Al.

I would joke and say, "the only reason you got into this, is because Moe was waaaaay cuter and you just wanted to get all the girls and ya had a little talent". It was a pretty large group of home boys, and a pretty lil lady named Theresa together they paved the way for the House music party scene here in Detroit. I can only start this story where I entered. By that I mean, I'm sure there were others that came before them., but my foray started at a club located on E. 7mile road and John R.  ( I won't butcher the spelling) but those who were there know how to spell it! L'uomo's where I became a House head although back then it was Progressive music!  

Time went on and this rag tail group of friends grew older.. and some better looking. - Greg Gray, Kevin Mapp and James Shipp- I'm talking about y'all in particular!- insert big cheesy grin.

Missing the days gone by. Someone had the idea to throw a picnic and that my friends is where the Charivari Detroit festival was born. Again, you can read more of the origins in one of my Blogs, but its 5:13 in the morning and I'm running low on cigarettes. So I'm sooo not going into detail. 

You had this vision, and the backings of a strong supporting cast. Most importantly your beautiful wife who you were so proud of and in love with! I remember you telling me how you would do ANYTHING to keep her happy! How she has been down for and with you since day 1. Plus y'all made a dynamic duo. 

I called you Sonny for reason's Ive shared only with Moe. You called me Kiddo for reason's only known by you. We would talk for hours about this vision of yours how you wanted it to go, how you wanted everyone to be included. We argued on some issues I stayed strong in my beliefs about the subject matter and you stayed strong in yours. But whenever we would end our conversations it always ended with, "love ya Kiddo! Love ya Sonny"!

...but you had to go, we love you but God loves you so much, he wanted you home...maybe he too was trying to have a festival and needed bounce some ideas off of you. To keep myself from crying I would tell myself you left because I kept egging you on about spinning again. I needed to keep myself sane, I needed to make sense of it all. To this day I have shed only a few tears. Because I hear your gravely voice in my head telling me I was a soldier! "Put ya big girl panties on and handle yo handles"

I only knew you for a very small window of time. I sat in the very cheap friendship seats, and was glad I got to sit in them at all! But in that time, the value of that friendship was/is immeasurable. 

As we get closer to Charivari Detroit 2016. Your "squad" is pressed forward to continue your vision. Your soldiers have grown. Your vision has expanded. I'm so very sure you already know this. 
So THIS is what we are going to do. WE are going to make this one for the record books. Your presence will be all over the Rock aka Belle Isle. Each and every DJ will play like their momma's life depended on it! and..when its all said and done we will all work togther to make 2017 even bigger!! You hear me Sonny!!! BIGGER!!!  We are because you believed. We are because you had a vision! We are because the music, like your memory will never die! 

Maybe now, I can let the tears flow..maybe. I wanted to say so much more., but selfishly I won't! You see everyone else had you since early in life..I didn't and some things are better left to my own memory, my personal time with.. A son, brother, husband, uncle and friend.

You are one in a million, you will live on and your name will never be forgotten.
I love you Sonny, and I would give anything to hear you say, just one more time. " I Love you too Kiddo! 

Just know we will continue to...

Let the music play!
rest well, see ya on the other side!!